It’s not a secret that narcissists are attracted to people that they can get the greatest advantage of. They’re not interested in building meaningful, harmonious, long-term relationships with others. Instead, what they’re looking for is someone who will be easy to control and manipulate and who will boost their ego.
They want to be with someone who is not going to be a threat to their inflated self-image and steal the spotlight. So, who do you think is narcissists’ best and most favorite victim? Yes, you guessed it – the empath.
I know it’s difficult to imagine an entitled, self-absorbed, emotionally unavailable person and a sensitive, compassionate, loving one being together in a relationship. But the truth is that these two diametrically opposed types of people are commonly attracted to each other.
Are you wondering what their relationship looks like? Well, here are the 17 stages narcissists and empaths go through in their relationship:
1. The empath gets attracted to the narcissist. They start a relationship. The empath is deeply and unconditionally in love with the narcissist although the latter doesn’t really bother to develop a strong, meaningful connection with them. The empath feels happy and satisfied and wrongly believes that their feelings for the narcissist are reciprocated.
2. The empath falsely believes that they’ve finally met the love of their life. Of course, the narcissist affirms and strengthens the empath’s false beliefs by creating an illusion that causes the latter to think that what they feel for each other is special. The empath gets so deep in love with and attached to the narcissist that it’s almost impossible for them to break free.
3. As time passes, the narcissist will try to ruin the empath’s confidence and self-esteem and make them feel incapable of doing even the simplest things. They’ll try to take absolute control over the empath and the relationship as well. They’ll ensure they’re the ones who will make all the important decisions in the relationship.
The empath will never openly oppose the narcissist or call them out on their behavior. And gradually, they’ll stop believing in their strength, abilities, and self-worth. What’s even worse is that they’ll start believing that they really need the narcissist in their life and that they’ll never find anyone who will “love” them the way the narcissist does.
4. The empath will fully devote themselves to the relationship because they’re the ones who are truly in love. They’ll do their best to satisfy the narcissist’s needs and desires and make them happy. They’ll always be there to help, support, and cheer up the narcissist when they’re down in the dumps or have problems.
The narcissist will present themselves as a victim of their past relationships and circumstances. And, in turn, the empath will try to make up to them for all the bad things they’ve been through.
5. The empath slowly realizes that the relationship is all about the narcissist. Yet, they feel afraid to voice and fight for their true needs and desires. They’d rather die than give the narcissist a reason to dislike them. Therefore, although they don’t feel happy, they’ll continue pleasing the narcissist and avoid talking about their problems.
6. The more effort, love, and devotion the empath puts into the relationship, the more in control over the relationship the narcissist feels. The latter literally makes the empath behave as it suits them.
And as long as the empath continues to fully invest themselves into the relationship, it becomes impossible for them to see the true colors of the narcissist and identify any problem in the relationship. The real problem actually arise when the empath finally reaches the breaking point.
7. Eventually, the empath raises their voice because they can no longer put up with the selfish, condescending, cruel behavior of the narcissist. They realize that they’ve never satisfied their emotional needs in the relationship because they always prioritized and focused on those of the narcissist.
They also begin to understand that their mental and emotional well-being matters. And, of course, the narcissist isn’t really happy about this.
8. What the empath fails to realize is that no matter how hard they try to please the narcissist and meet their expectations, the latter will never get satisfied. And the reason is simple: their hunger for attention is insatiable.
9. When the empath finally stands up for themselves and says something like: “My feelings and needs are important too, you know,” the narcissist is quick to call them “too emotional,” “needy,” and “crazy.” This is how the narcissist plays with the empath’s mind and gains more control over them.
11. The empath doesn’t understand they’re actually being manipulated. The narcissist has managed to twist the empath’s perception of reality. The empath starts doubting their own logic and sanity and they’re unable to understand that it’s not them who is wicked or crazy, but the narcissist.
12. The empath will try to openly talk to the narcissist about how they really feel, but it’ll all be in vain. The narcissist will never pay attention and give meaning to the empath’s words and they’ll always shift the blame onto them.
13. At this point, the empath should understand that it’s normal to feel confused, disappointed, hurt, and lost. Despite all the pain they go through, they need to stay calm and reflect on what brought them into this position.
14. The empath has to face the ugly truth that not everyone is worthy of their attention, trust, and love. That not all people are as honest, loyal, and committed as they are, and that not everyone sees love and relationships the way they do.
15. The empath needs to understand that they’re the ones who have been the victim in the relationship for the whole time, not the narcissist.
16. It’ll be painful to the empath, but they need to finally break free from the narcissist and move on with their life.
17. The narcissist will move on as if nothing happened. As if no one loved them so honestly and wholeheartedly. They won’t remember the deep, powerful connection they had with the empath and they’ll continue searching for their new victim.
And as for the empath, they’ll become wiser, stronger, and more confident. What they’ve been through in the relationship with the narcissist has taught them how to fight for and believe more in themselves. It has also taught them that they need to be more careful about who they give their attention and love to and put their faith into.