I’ve always been a people pleaser. I like to make others happy. I guess that’s my flaw and my biggest virtue. I tend to go with the flow and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. My heart has been broken many times by trying to make others happy and forgetting about my own happiness.
But, nowadays, I feel that there is a massive shift happening inside of me. Like I am turning into someone else and I am very aware of it. There is a change and I feel it in my guts. It feels like my skin is being shredded.
And I am finally starting to feel okay with what was underneath me for the whole time. Now I realize that I was hiding from my true nature. I was holding back from myself.
I am starting to accept the fact that the world doesn’t revolve around me. That other people don’t care as much as I like them to. I realize that I used to waste many hours trying to decide whether to post that status or that photo on Facebook because God forbid that someone won’t find me beautiful and they will start thinking less of me.
But you know what? People don’t care. They don’t give a damn about others anymore. And that in itself is a wonderful and liberating feeling.
I, too, no longer have time to compare myself to other people. I’ve come at the point in my life where I don’t care about what others think of me because I know that I am beautiful and awesome the way I am. I no longer have the time to obsess over someone else’s life and be secretly jealous of the things they have that I don’t. And I mean, seriously, who has the time for that? Life’s too short.
I know that I may not be the skinniest, the youngest, the hottest, the smartest, and the most attractive woman, but I am okay with that. In fact, I’ve never been those things, but the difference now is that I DON’T CARE.
I don’t have a need to online stalk people anymore and watch their every picture, every like, every new friend they add looking for evidence of possible betrayal. I know now that if someone wants to be with me, they will be. And I don’t have any more time to waste playing mind games and overthinking everything. I don’t have time for jealousy. My energy is too precious for that.
I also know that regardless of what happens I will be alright. Because no matter how many times life has knocked me down, I’ve always managed to get back on my feet.
Now I don’t have time for anyone who doesn’t respect me. So, I don’t want to know what will happen next time someone tries to humiliate me in some way. They better watch out. Because this time I will stand up for myself.
I no longer have the patience and energy to deal with any form of manipulation and narcissism and I am telling you, I can spot that shit from a mile away. So, don’t even bother.
My friends and my family are the most important people in my life. Now more than ever. And it’s not because that I am old now and I realized they won’t be with me forever, but because finally, I have my priorities straight. I’ve had many life experiences that taught me the hard way what matters the most in life and that is love. Therefore, it is vital to tell people around you how much they mean to you, how much you love them and are happy to have them in your life.
I no longer worry about what is or what’s not going to happen because there’s no point in worrying. I know that what’s meant to happen will happen and I will deal with it when or if it happens. Until then, I am calm and at peace.
Also, I won’t settle for mediocre things and people anymore! I’ve learned my lesson. I’ve been settling my whole life. I’ve given my heart and soul to people who didn’t deserve it and I’ve had it enough. This time I am waiting for the real thing.
I am no longer trying to be perfect. I am no longer acting like everything is fine when it’s not. Everyone is allowed to have bad days and I won’t fake a smile if I don’t feel like smiling.
I am finally owning myself. It didn’t happen overnight, but it happened. It will for you too. And if you are like me, I applaud you. Because I know how much pain, tears, heartbreak, and energy it took to get yourself here. But we’ve made it.